This is Me

I don’t think I’m insecure. Saying that I’m not about to go an buy a crop top and low waisted jeans because no one wants to see that. Even high waisted gives me a little podgy muffin top. So am I insecure Idk? Everyone wants to be bikini ready but I enjoy carbs and I am not prepared to give up almond croissants to be a size 6. I think I am happy in my size I’m just not happy being soft. I’ve felt like that for a while I think. I see fitness programs aiming at resulting in you being body confident. But is the only way for you to be body confident by working out and losing weight? I reckon that’s what happened with me, the flatter my stomach gets the more body confident I get…. shouldn’t I be more confident without forcing myself to do 40 minuets cardio …. however by following a fitness plan doesn’t give you confidence. It helps yes, but confidence is coming from you not a gym, so don’t discredit yourself. I do quite like working out, not loads because it’s me, but I get to be a little bit active and like an old woman that’s good for me.

Got a new walker, I say new it’s like my first ever annnnd it’s a little bit vile ngl. Actually it could be worse, could be better. But it’s all black so doesn’t look too hospital like and it will match my wheel chair and mot of what I’m wearing won’t look horrendous. It’s got little arm rests so I can lean on it which I like because I am lazy and it helps stabilize and keep me upright. But you know what I’m going to do, buy loads of gymshark clothes a rock life on wheels. Also mini dress’ are back on the menu, reckon I could also wear heels with it ….. maybe. Start off small an work my way up.

Gymshark are actually selling some pretty decent clothes atm. Say that like they don’t normally …. they do, honestly I am a fan. But they have quite nice lounge wear, hoodies and joggers. They also have new sort of taupe/sand coloured set and like a powdery blue. I’m really liking these colours RN. I went on PLT thing the other day to buy a new top to go with my NEW girlfriend jeans from ASOS. Petite obviously. But a little bit advice, from me to you, if you’re unsure of the item you want, DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT go on PLT. They have so much and for such a good price and so many colours. I just wanted to buy everything, had to talk myself out of it, I need to buy makeup soon and get my hair done …. so poor.

 

I watched “The Greatest Showman” last night and I know I am late to the party but I feel like I have missed my calling in life. I will forever begrudge my mother for not selling me to the circus. Jan really. In all seriousness, Hugh Jackman is a babe, and it made me realize how much I miss directing and creating something so artistic. Which I did at school, I didn’t have a job as a theatrical director. It’s not like your stereotypical musical, some parts are but most of it is almost indifferent. Like a grownup High School Musical, I say this because it stars Zac Effron. A young man from a rich white family who falls in love with an African-American trapeze artist …. adult HSM right? But the timing is genius, in this day and age when people are fighting so hard to be accepted, showing characters being so strong and proud of who they are will inspire a lot of people. It also shows how prejudice and racism can be so ugly and it’s not an opinion or moral you should ever abide by.

Lettie Lutz, the “bearded lady,” is my favorite. She is played by Keala Settle, I am now a fan, it’s her first major role so I haven’t seen her in anything before but I’m sure after that performance she’ll be in many more production’s. Settle’s performance is one of the many keys to why “The Greatest Showman” is so effective. You watch her transformation from cringing shame to fearless sassy Diva. “This Is Me” is definitely the route of the film. It captures the essence in one powerful musical scene. It’s moving and depicts the harsh times of 1800’s New York.

It’s amusing, one of the circus acts was a man covered in tattoos, labeled the ever inventive ‘Tattoo Man’ but nowadays that is pretty much half the population, so look how far we have come. That’s actually amazing when you think about it, that

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