I want to babble on about body confidence again. It is getting better, I’m accepting my body and that I sometimes look like a potato. But you know, don’t look at yourself as a potato look at yourself as a fatly cut chip. A majorly undercooked chip, probably raw ngl, because I’ve taken off all my fake tan and it’s really sunny atm so probably not the best shout. Because I will end up looking like a fatly cut chip drenched in tomato sauce.
Anyway I’m probably in a body confidence mood because I’ve eaten like an absolute pig this last week and I’m trying to convince myself it’s okay. It is okay really, just overloading your body with one type of substance is probably not the best. Just eat a salad a long the way maybe push the boat out and have some fruit, why not? And I went to the gym last week soooo. I find, and it’s most likely not just me, that sugar is not the best for me. It gives me bad skin, makes me tired, is the main reason I gain weight. So I’ve tried to cut down on it. Still can’t stomach coffee without it but I try to make that my only sugar source throughout the day. But then there is cake and cake is life.
There shouldn’t be such a stigma on sizes. My Nan, god bless her, was getting me a top from New Look, just a basic one. But I wanted it quite loose and baggy so I asked for a “big size” to which she replied, “what like a 10?” no Nan. A 10 is not a big size, a 10 is a small. And then I thought to myself what is a big size? What do we determine as big? Why do I squeeze myself into a 6 when I would probably be a lot more comfortable in a 10 and why is it anyone’s business? I buy what fits me, and I don’t see why I should be ashamed of that? I’m not disheartened, I’m not anything, I’m just me. What does bother me, is certain fashion websites and campaigns sport models that are all skinny with long legs and have the perfect smooth skin, and there are many people out there who look like an airbrushed model don’t get me wrong you don’t need to have cellulite to be considered real. But the lack of diversity really gets to me. Celebrate beauty, male, female, whatever and make people feel empowered in your clothes. Not just the long-legged beauties of the world celebrate the short-legged beauties too. Putting people in a box is what I have an issue with, everyone’s different and you can’t judge or assume. I try not to judge and comment on people’s appearance because I know how it feels and I know how horrible it makes me feel. I know it’s their insecurities that make people pass judgement, but still, it makes me cringe when I hear people running people down. I feel like there is so much more to a person than their physical appearance. In the words of Miley Cyrus “only God can judge us” only if you believe in God of course. Otherwise it’s just a bit pointless. At the end of the day, judgment, confidence, happiness comes from you.
I did it! I wore blue eyeshadow …. took me forever and prevented me from going for drinks with my friend but I DID IT!! I was actually really happy with it too. I created a really bad cut crease, it kind of looked stupid. then added the bright vibrant blue and a shimmer on the inner half of my mobile lid. To make me look like a glowing fairy mermaid. That was it, 3 colours, simple. It took me forever in a day though because the first time I did the cut crease I added the shade ‘mulberry’, which is like a deep plum, to the tail of the crease, to, in my mind, add a sort of gradient effect and definition. It actually didn’t look too bad, I added the blue and it was mesmerizing. But then I blended …… and it was disgusting. Really quite vile. It went like brown mud gloop on the top corner of my eye, beautiful. The second time I did not make that mistake again however, I added far far too much shimmer, not a good look. Third time I went with less is more and it worked. All in all took me about 2 hours to do my makeup but the mermaid shimmer look was worth it.
I want to try the blue again but possibly in a different way. Stephanie Lange came up with a look called the ‘soft socket effect’ and because it’s really simple I might combine that with the ‘dome effect’ so the blue is still visible but then add a soft black to smoke out the corners. However because the blue is so vibrant I’m worried incase the black is too harsh. Or maybe I could create a really smokey eye the have a pop of blue just to make my eyes pop. Idk, I need to have a play. I also want to have a play with pinks again, that’s really not a surprise. I’m thinking a darker pink but not dull, so maybe a bright pink and then the ‘mulberry’ shade on the outer corners and possibly in the crease to deepen it. Then just copious amounts of pink shimmer. Lots and lots of pink.