The Fear

I’ve felt really unmotivated this last week. I’ve not really achieved anything and felt I could write about it. I started work yesterday after the holidays and I feel nothing about it, it’s just something I have to do and it’s made me realise you shouldn’t feel that way about what you do. Even now I have nothing to say about it. I don’t enjoy it, nor do I hate it. I used to become inspired by the simplest things. Like a tree or a road would inspire me to write a whole chapter of a novel. The colour of a leaf would inspire my makeup for a whole month. I don’t feel inspired anymore. Some might say that is growing up but I don’t want to lose that. I don’t want to dull my imagination. So it’s time to change things up. I always think of ‘Friends’ when Rachel quits her job at the coffee house in order to pursue her dream job, also how Chandler quit his job. I always thought this was just TV until my friend did exactly this, she quit her Job to find one she loves. I feel l need to do this. I think I am “too afraid”. I need to focus on this business and make a proper plan, take pictures, up my instagram game instead of procrastinating, pretending I’m doing all I can. I do that quite a lot, sit there and make excuses to make myself feel better.

“Keep only those things that speak to your heart. Then take the plunge and discard all the rest. By doing this, you can reset your life and embark on a new lifestyle.”
Marie Kondo


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